Subject: One Night in Bangkok
Date: Mon, 20 Dec 1999 12:04:02 -0800

This is my on-the-road email account...

After a LONG and uneventful set of flights, we are on the ground near Bangkok. Not for long, though, as we are about to take off for a trip to Tak, then to Chang Mai, and Chang Rai (The Golden Triangle). After Tak, we are going to umphanghill to camp, hike, ride some elephants, and generally chill.

If your friends told you it is humid in Bangkok, they lied. It is VERY HUMID, and a little smoggy, and that is INSIDE the airport...

We will be in Chang Mai for xmas. Probably no snow.

Have a happy holiday, everyone. I will snap some digital pictures and maybe send one or two. Oum's brother is a big nerd, but not as big as me, so connectivity is not 100% ;-)

This is the second time I am typing this out, due to Windows sucking...

So where was I?

As I write this, I am in Chiang Mai, though when I send it, who knows where I will be.

To recap and catch up:

We arrived at BKK at about 1am 21 Dec and went to Oum's brother's house (his name is Am), where we showered, adjusted our luggage, and caught a van at 5:15am back to the airport to catch a flight to Mae Sot.

Once in Mae Sot at about 8am (a one hour flight), we got in a green death machine that was essentially a pickup with a cover over the back and some benches in it. We proceeded to make the 4 HOUR journey up a winding mountain road, bouncing and becoming car sick all the while.

When we arrived at Umpang at the resort, we dropped our stuff, had some fried rice for brunch, and jumped into a raft and floated up the Me Gong (Me Kong for the Non-Thai...) river for about 3 hours. At the end of the trip, we got in that same pickup truck and drove for about an hour on something that would never ever be confused for a road.

We arrived at the campsite, and immediately headed for some bathrooms. As Oum put it, "This is Super Duper Dirty!!!" Cold water, and not much of it, was all we had there...

My back was killing me, what with 18 hours of flying, 4 hours of driving up the mountain, 3 hours sitting in the raft, and another hour on the death trail. Luckily, we had some blankets to sleep on in the tents... youch!

The next morning we hiked into the forest preserve area to the waterfalls we came to see. That was pretty cool, right up to the part where I slipped and started wading in COLD water. That actually sucked, but it wouldn't be right if I didn't fall into the water, eh?

We headed back in another two hour death ride (this pickup was NOT a 4-wheel-drive vehicle, though the owner did not seem to mind that...) and got back to the resort area (resort meaning, it had a hard roof... still no hot water, but not all that bad). We had to wait for the elephants to make the walk, and they are slow.

There were three. I got the male by myself, and the other tiny people in our group got paired up to ride the other two females. Turns out mine was the son of one of the other elephants. Family reunion...

The ride was cool. My shoes were still drying, so I rode with bare feet and felt the leathery, hairy skin of the elephant first hand, so to speak. My driver was cool, and we were able to have a very rudimentary conversation. I taught him some english-thai translations... like when the elephant decided he wanted some bamboo (and he proceeded to rip some out of the ground), the driver said "he like bamboo" and I said "aloy my?" and he said "What `aloy my` mean in english?" and I said "good to eat or delicious." He seemed to enjoy this sort of thing.

I was very impressed as we elephanted up the Me Gong again for a while... some deep water stopped us cold (they don't like to step down steps that are too tall, hence, deep water from shallow is no good, and you would have to shoot the elephant before he will take that step). My driver steered us toward the bank, and when we were blocked by a fallen tree, he uttered some secret hill-tribe words and the elephant literally ripped the tree in half. Very impressive. We ventured up the bank, and in so doing my elephant saddle thing started to slide off the left side of the elephant. The driver grabbed it and turned around and we sort of stared at each other for a moment, and I gave the universal "I am going to move to the right side of the elephant saddle thing" gesture, and he gave the equally-universal, "Yes, that would be a great idea" response gesture. All was well... I was NOT going into the water a second time that day.

We went up the bank, around the deep, and back into the water. It was a two hour ride all together, and definitely the high point of that part of the trip.

We had to catch an early plane, so we left the resort in the very same green pickup truck, this time at 3am. We had some blankets and a matress to sleep on, and Oum and her sister were in the front seat with the driver, so we were able to sleep in the back for the 3 1/2 hour down-hill ride. We stopped off, since we were early, and grabbed some thai food in a street restaurant. Pretty good.

We caught our flight and went to Chiang Mai and met up with Am's girlfriend (I mean, "Friend"), Tuk. Tuk actually made most of the arrangements for us, as it turns out... she is pretty cool, but a little quiet.

We got our driver and took off for a mall, where we shopped for a while. Then we embarked on our 4 hour ride to the mountains (yes, everything takes 4 hours) where we were to stay the night. I can't remember the place we went to at this moment, but it was nice... about 5000 feet in elevation, and about 4 degrees C in the daytime. We went to the Thailand/Mynmar border (Used to be Burma) first, then to the hotel. This hotel was decidedly softer, with water heaters in the showers and real beds.

The next morning we checked out after a nice breakfast, checked out a hill-people bazaar, and then made the loooong trip down to downtown Chiang Mai where we are now. Along the way, we stopped at a Sa Umbrella factory and saw how they make umbrellas out of this special paper (Which they also make), and at a silver smith place where they make everything from earrings to huge wall hangings from the stuff.

We are staying at Pornping tower in Chiang Mai this evening, and after a decent dinner at Antique House across the street from the hotel (not as good as Oum's mom's cooking, if you ask me) and a long walk through a street bazaar here (rolex, about $40 and dropping...), we headed back to the room.

We are off to Chiang Rai the next morning to see The Golden Triangle, then who-knows-what. That will be for xmas here. For xmas in USA, we will be traveling back to Bangkok in an airplane, probably another turboprop.

I didn't have my digcamera or moviecamera for the camping part, but I took a bunch of pictures and movies of the other stuff, and Oum's sister has been snapping "real" pictures like mad... including the elephant stuff. Look for those on my website. As for emailing pictures, when I return to Bangkok I will snag my compact flash adaptor and pick a nice picture to send.

Hope everyone is doing well! Have a happy holiday season, enjoy time off if you have it, and don't work too hard if you don't...

Sawasdee Krahp!
-dh

Hey everyone, back in town for now. Two days, then to Phuket for most of the remainder of the trip (including new years).

After Chiang Mai, we went to Chiang Rai (about a 4 hour drive), where we hung out at The Golden Triangle. It is a spot between Myanmar (note correct spelling this time), Laos, and Thailand. The hotel was very nice, and we had a nice thai lunch on the balcony that Oum and her crew were good enough to go and get from an outdoor market very early in the morning before we left.

We wandered around TGT, but there wasn't much to see, actually. So the next day, we went to the border between Thailand and Myanmar. The process was long and annoying, but we got a temporary visa to visit Myanmar. I learned there is one rule about Myanmar. Don't visit Myanmar.

You all know how nasty Tijuana is, right? Myanmar, on the border anyway, is not quite as clean or safe. The border guys pulled the old "leave your passports here," though we did get them back without any additional taxation.

We then took a trip to Dai Tung to see the King's mother's palace. I have to say, it was a very nice place. We snapped some pics from outside, but cameras are not allowed inside (though we did get some post cards with interior shots at Chiang Rai airport). The grounds around the house were very pretty with nice gardens, and the view was great. We just made it back to the airport in time for our flight back to BKK on an Airbus A300. Another Thai Inter flight, but this one had real Thai food... some Pad Thai, which was not too bad.

I caught a cold, which started before I left and wasn't helped by the cold nights or the spontaneous swim at the waterfall. I also didn't bring any decongestant (which I did purchase to be prepared for just such an eventuality), but I now have it safe in hand (and stomach). Hopefully I will be able to breath again soon.

The food here is just like any of the Thai restaurants I have been to with all of you (or most). No food disagreements or stomach problems whatsoever for me. Yummy.

So we are going to hang out in Bangkok on Monday (tomorrow for me, in two days for you) and visit Patpong so that Oum's sister can get some cell phone add-ons. She is such a nerd.

Oum's brother used his new GPS and his laptop to record most of our journey through the north. He is a bigger nerd. I hope to get a copy of the trail overlaid on a map of Thailand, because I am an even bigger nerd!

I will go through the pictures I took and send one along. There are about 80 of them!

Take care, and watch for the next big update!
-dh

Well, we got back to Bangkok on Sunday night, slept a little, and then got ready to head out into downtown for Monday. Our driver arrived at 8:30am, and we were ready to go prompty at 10:30am. It turns out, though, that a toyota minivan and driver from 9am->midnight is only B2400, or about $65 give or take...

Anyway, before I fill you in, here are a couple of lessons for those of you planning to make the trip:

1) American Express traveler's cheques. Don't come to bangkok without them, because Visa traveler's cheques are like leprosy around here! You need to find a saint to even touch them...
2) Bank of America is right down the street from the American Embassy. Don't let that fool you... a year ago or so, they are no longer affiliated with BofA in USA.

Those were courtesy of Oum and Oum's sister's friend Lox who came along on the trip, respectively. Oum finally did find a place to exchange the Visa cheques, and Lox is SOL for cash for the duration...

So we started out Monday AM going to Ayudthaya (spelling courtesy Oum's brother following some serious Thai rum and American coke...) where I saw an old palace from back when the Burmese overran the then-capital of the country, stole all the gold, and burned and destroyed the place.

After that, we headed downtown to try our hand at exchanging money (lessons learned here), and then off to Siam Square and other assorted malls for shopping.

Bangkok has a lot of malls. I'll leave it at that, because you have to see it to believe it. Thuc has...

Bangkok was hot and humid, but it only got bad after a long day of walking all over the place. Not too uncomfortable. The pollution, on the other hand, is pretty impressive. I'm not sure if I mentioned this in a previous message, but if there isn't an uncontrolled file burning at a particular moment, it is only because someone is off getting some matches. The complete disregard for the environment is pretty amazing.

I am also amazed that we haven't gotten into or seen a serious accident. The rhythm of the drivers, especially in the city, is as amazing as the pollution. So close does one come to the cars in the other lanes (where "lanes" are demarcated by cars on either side... the lines on the street have little meaning downtown), and so crazy are the motorcycle drivers that dart in and out. And we are driving on the "wrong" side of the road the whole time (the British would call this the "proper" side of the road). After a week, I still don't think I could get used to the driving style, even on the suburban roads.

Tuesday we headed off for more bank fun and more shopping. We also picked up our tickets to go to Phuket, where we will be spending the new year crossover. Apparently, Phuket is having a drastic cold spell at this moment, though, so it won't be as equatorilly hot as normal.

Oum was out to get a few items, which we finally acquired. The dollar is not as strong as it was against the Baht, but at about 37 Baht/USD, an American can find him or herself quite well quipped to shop with only a few hundred dollars to start out.

So what was the subject line about? Well, Lox wanted to go pick up some economy Rolex watches, and the best place to go is Patpong. This is the Bangkok redlight district, where so many men, young and old, go with their Thai nieces to go shopping, wander the streets seeing the sights, and then who-knows-what. In some cases, the uncles were pretty old, and their nieces were pretty young. It is good to see such family values, though...

Anyway, I have to go pack now.

Take care everyone. The next time I write will most likely be after the 1st of the year, assuming we are all still able to use electronic devices, much less the internet.

Happy New Year!
-dh

Hey people, happy new year. Nothing to report from Phuket, from where I just returned, except that the humidifier is fully Y2K compliant. They were testing it the entire time we were there.

So we stayed at Novotel, a nice resort that was literally across the street from the Patong Beach in Patong. Oum went parasailing, which I video taped from harnessing to jumping out of the pickup boat, and her sister and her friend went jet skiing and such. I myself was happy to photograph, document, and otherwise kick back and relax while the waves came crashing in.

Patong, like most of the beaches, requres that swimware be warn at all times. Since this implies a single piece of swimware, many a woman was taking off the other piece and sauntering to and fro along the beach. In almost all cases, this was not necessarily a good thing. We saw one or two good ones (Or is that two or four? ;-). Patong and most of the area around where we were is a European haven, while Pattaya, on the east coast, is more American.

While at the resort, we ran into some "uneducated" security guards who were quite rude to Oum and her sister (not going to get into details...). The resort's night manager was, in short, an idiot, and handled the situation very badly. We met with the hotel GM the next day and had a brief chat, some apologies were made, and we got a free night. Small compensation given what had happened, but we got over it and moved on with our vacation.

Oum went snorkeling on Friday (NYEve), I got a slight sunburn on the back of my neck and my right elbow, and we were all tired. So tired, in fact, that I quite literally slept through midnight! I heard some fireworks, but otherwise I was out like a tired American on vacation.

I figure, for my xmas/millenium/whatever, I was taking a long (for me) vacation where I had been wanting to go for years... waiting around for a date to roll over was the least of the plan.

By the way, we had a nice lunch and some resort-drinks right around the time Arizona and California were celebrating their new years.

The flights to and from Phuket were full of rowdy people, but were uneventful.

I know I have said I would send pictures, but they are too big for people with modems, so I will most likely post them on my website on my return in a couple of days in smaller form for easier viewing. Besides, I am on a modem connection here at Oum's brother's house, which means uploading one or more is also painful... I miss my DSL!!!

Welp, if I don't get another chance (I am leaving for US in just 54 hours, actually...), this trip has been fun for the most part, though very tiring and sometimes downright crazy (Particularly for those parts that involved a lot of driving), and I am eagerly awaiting my return trip to get back to "normal." In other words, all of this getting up early is driving me NUTS!!!

love all, and enjoy the first few days of 2000 in the US without me...

ciao
-dh

So Thailand isn't a rich country... the royal family cannot necessarily afford their own "Air Force 1" arrangement, so when they need to travel, they travel the national airline of Thailand, Thai International Airways (the very same one we have tickets for).

As it happens, her highness the princess was travelling to and from LAX on the very same days we were.

At this point, one of life's lessons is learned.

When flying Thai Inter from Bangkok to LAX (and possibly on other flights...):

If you are running late, they are pretty willing to hold the plane for a few minutes.

If you are running late and one of the royal family is on the plane you want to be on, you are SOL.

Rewind.

5:30am, we are all packed and ready to roll, looking forward to sitting in a plane for some 16 hours back to LAX. But alas, our chariot had broken down before ever arriving at the curb. Scrambling, Oum's brother called everyone in town. I don't remember what time it was exactly, but eventually two cabs showed up to transport our bodies and luggage to BKK. Oum's brother's friend, P'Tuk, also arrived. Our luggage crammed into every nook and crannie of the cabs, I got in one, Lox (Oum's sister's friend) in the other, Oum's brother, Oum, P'Tuk, and Oum's sister in P'Tuk's civic, we all left together.

Well, our cabbies were available for a reason... P'Tuk's little civic kicked their collective asses, arriving at least 15 minutes ahead of BOTH cabs. They were actually willing to check us in and everything, even though we actually got to the curb of BKK international terminal 1 at about 8:10... just 10 minutes before our flight was to depart.

Her highness would have none of that.

And so, gentle reader, we are all here for a few more days...

Here were our choices that we went over again and again in the post-traumatic hours at BKK:

1) Fly Singapore Air for some $1600 per ticket to SFO, forfeiting our Thai inter tickets
2) Waitlist standby... there are about 40 people on the waitlist each day for Thai inter flights from now until January 23
3) P'Tuk's sister works for Thai Inter! Earliest possible interaction, January 9
4) Eva Air has some tickets back to SFO on Thursday for $350 each, but we still forfeit the Thai Inter tickets (those are non-refundable and non-endorsable.. dammit). [Actually, "forfeit" is not the right word, but when are we going to fly Thai Inter again?]
5) Try our luck when some other airlines... Eva looks like the best bet, though, in the near future.

Ah, the fun of it all... it wouldn't be fun without some drama.

All the best, and wish me luck if you care to see me back in the US in 2000...

-dh

ps we went to Hard Rock Cafe Bangkok and had some great Thai dinner at Ban Khon Mae ("Mom's House") downtown, and tomorrow (Wednesday) we will most likely hang out and relax, since our bags are full and our pockets are empty. Departure on Eva, if that happens, is Thursday, ~5pm from BKK, through Taiwan, to SFO sometime Thursday evening (local time there... we get our day back).

Whelp---

We got the Eva Air tickets and made the flight... BARELY!

It seems we got to the airport so early, that we had "plenty of time" to hang out and do this and that. But let me back up a bit...

We gathered our stuff and prepared to leave at about 12:30pm to make our 3:40pm checkin time at the airport. The van had arrived at 10am just to be sure.

We decided to stop for lunch at a little Thai place that was not too bad, or so we thought. Our androgenous server overheard some comments and discussions (similar to a routine in a "It's Pat" sketch on Saturday Night Live) and was apparently miffed at us.

We arrived at the airport, and immediately Oum ran to the bathroom preparing to throw up. She didn't, but felt horrible just the same. I began to have a sort of weird nausea and aching joint feeling, sort of like the flu, but the onset was so fast, I was concerned that I might also begin to feel the need to purge.

We had arrived early enough to be first in line at the ticket counter. When the counter opened (early, since we started the line I guess), we asked for the exit row, which lead to what became not less than 30 minutes of them checking on this for us for the second leg of the flight. We ended up with two exit row seats (45A/B if you know the 747-400) on the Bangkok-Taipei leg, and 42D/E/F/G, the row just before the aft-middle restroom bulkhead - no kids to kick the seats- for the long leg to SFO). I was sort of amazed that they tried this hard.

While we were waiting, Oum's sister's friend Lox was weighing himself on an unused luggage conveyor belt and generally entertaining himself. I was people-watching, and noticed an extremely tall european-looking man and a smaller, dark southeast-asian-looking woman walking up to our line. He stood in line while she remained behind with the carry-on luggage. She was wearing a clingy white dress with a low-cut front, and a grey tanktop under that. This is important...

So Lox noticed her AFTER they had arrived, and immediately pointed her out to me as he noticed her clingy clothing and the decidedly lacking support of a bra. He also took the time to begin to describe what he would like to do with this young woman. At this point, I noticed that tall man was really, really close to Lox, I leaned over to Lox, and said, "you know, this is her boyfriend standing behind Manee."

[Manee is Oum's sister, Maneewan]

He didn't seem to grasp this completely, as he gave one more comment regarding his impure thoughts, when suddenly the tall mean leaned down in a manner almost exactly like the italian-in-the-movie-theatre bit in Eddie Murphy Raw (if you don't remember it, too bad), and he says,
"Are you talking about the woman in the white dress?" and Lox, suddenly quite silent, replies, "No."
"Are you sure?" he asks suspiciously of Lox.
"Yes," he replies.

I gathered the remaining carry-on stuff from the last luggage cart, slid away quietly, and had a good laugh.

We got our tickets, went off to The Brew House upstairs in the international terminal, and had a few beers to pass the time. When we got there, it was just about 4pm, leaving us plenty of time.

Eventually, we said her goodbyes with Oum's brother, passed through passport control, and headed into the duty-free area of BKK. I have to say, this area was HUGE. I thought Heathrow had a nice shopping area, but this one is bigger. Longer. In fact, much longer, and it turns out that our gate, 26, was really far away from where we all were when we entered the duty-free. Lox went to the bathroom, Oum and Manee took a look in a store, and I sort of wandered around a bit looking to see what was around.

I noticed a departure monitor hanging from the ceiling, and decided to scan it quickly to make sure our gate hadn't changed... it hadn't, but our flight was boarding. BOARDING!!!

Well, I didn't even stop to look for the others, hoping the gate was as good a place as any to meet up. I passed through the metal detector area and continued toward my gate, hearing the final boarding call for the flight as I neared the stairs the lead down into the gate area. Just then I heard the clamor of running girls (namely, Oum and Manee) and behind them, Lox. Well all just made it. Boy, would that have been dumb!

So we're on the plane, it is almost empty, and I have the exit row center seat. The aching and nausea I spoke of earlier hit me full force moments into the flight, with a sudden fever, a certain amount of salivation for no good reason, and maybe even some dimensia. All was not well at this point.

Oum got me an ice pack and a couple of cold towels from the flight attendants and I was able to cool down a bit, but I didn't feel well until the last few minutes of the flight. My stomach began to hurt, though, as I could feel the second half of the bad-lunch-effect beginning to make itself known.

We arrived in Taiwan, passed through the transit area, and found the duty-free. Oum tried calling her brother, but one cannot dial the new cell phone area code in Thailand (city code 01) because "It is not necessary to dial a `0` when calling this number" AND "The number you have dialed in invalid." This was using an AT&T calling card... other options were not so successful.

I did visit the restroom in the airport in Taiwan, and I think that is all that needs to be said about that, except that I felt immensely better after leaving the restroom there...

The Eva Air flight was great. They have about twice as many flight crew members as Thai Inter did (or that's the way it seemed, anyway) and they were generally more pleasant. For the money, the Eva Air lifht was easily better, but I think the quality of the experience was a little better as well. The landing on both legs was harder than Thai, which prides itself for being "as smooth as Thai silk." I have to admit, both legs of the landing in their 747-400 were amazing... I didn't even know we had landed in Osaka when we did.

So that is the end of the story. I will put the pictures that I took with my digital camera on a website that I will create tonight or so... I JUST got my computers back up (I am typing this from my main linux machine right now, rather than Oum's brother's Windows98 portable), so give me a minute.

Thanks for listening
Your world traveling nerdle
-dh